I think the real question here is "was I ever really one?" I could probably count the number of times I actually referred to myself as a communist on one hand. What I was advocating for wasn't even communism either, I was just kinda making shit up as I went along and calling it communism. I remember once I said "socialism is when you have social programs and communism is once you have *all* the social programs". Another time I watched some documentary on communes and I thought "oh, that's what the 'commun' in 'communism' stands for!". Protip: it doesn't. Then I fell for the "everyone gets paid the same" meme and rationalized it to myself by saying "well, it probably is by percentage based on how much of someone's quota they meet, then those who meet their quota split the remainder equally" or something like that. Then I realized that I didn't understand shit. The Communist Manifesto doesn't even say much about communism in the first place and it certainly has no relevance today. That phase couldn't have lasted for more than a few weeks tops. I also thought that Anarcho-Capitalism was somehow compatible with communism. I was an awkward highschooler at the time and took the memes on GETchan a bit too seriously, cut me some slack.

A girl. That's all I'll say.